How We Make This Work: The Norrises

With my How We Make This Work series I want married couples to share and give insight into how they work out common issues we all face on the other side of “I Do.” The goal is to show that despite what marriage may look like in the mainstream, there are many couples that are willing to put the work in to maintain happy, healthy relationships with their spouses!

Let’s meet The Norrises!

Derrick and Takea Norris are a lovely couple hailing from the Washington D.C. area. And get this, they’re newlyweds! Yay and congrats! They’ve been on the other side of “I Do” for six months. They both work in Information Technology.

Get ready to read some great tips from these two.

1) We make communication work by…

Communication is a work in progress. We have learned how to read each other’s level of receptiveness at any given time. We speak to one another with respect and out of love. Our pre-marital counseling was time well-spent, as we have trained ourselves to pray for grace and to set aside time to discuss more important or sensitive issues. We use humor to lighten the mood. We stay connected by any means and technology plays a big part–we email, instant message, text, tweet, video chat, you name it!

2) We make child rearing work by…

We do not have kids, yet, but we have had plenty of discussions on the subject. We plan to follow God’s word for raising children.

3) We make our finances work by…

We make our finances work by setting and discussing mutual financial goals. He says we do well with a chief financial officer (me) and each “staying in our lane.” We have a budget and a savings plan that we adhere to, and we attend a ministry at church based on biblical teachings for financial stewardship.

4) We make romance work by…

We’ve discovered that romance requires selflessness and spontaneity. Our motto is: “Happy wife, happy life…’lubby dubby,’ happy hubby!” We have a standing date night every Friday. It came about organically while we were courting, and continued throughout our engagement. He suggested we make it an official institution once we got married. Our friends and family all honor it, and don’t disturb us or invite us to separate occasions on Fridays. We also try to do something new as often as possible to keep it interesting.

5) What advice would you give to newlyweds (or even oldyweds!) on how to make marriage work?

Keep God first-honor His word and His design for marriage. Put your spouse before anyone else and even before yourself. Have fun! Remember why you got married, and continue to be “a catch” now that you’re caught.

I told you this was a good one! The passion in their wedding pic? Loving it.

Want to be featured? Send me a note via the contact form here on the blog or email me at theyeyodiaries(at)gmail(dot)com.

If you like what you see here,  join me as I participate in Lovelinks for the first time!

How We Make This Work: The Jeffersons

With my How We Make This Work series I want married couples to share and give insight into how they work out common issues we all face on the other side of “I Do.” The goal is to show that despite what marriage may look like in the mainstream, there are many couples that are willing to put the work in to maintain happy, healthy relationships with their spouses!

Let’s meet The Jeffersons! And, no…not George and Weezy! LOL

Tara and Thomas Jefferson reside near Akron, Ohio, where she’s a freelance writer and he works as a director in higher education. They have two max-adorable children, ages three and four. Yes, you read that right…pray for them! LOL They have been together for seven years and married for four.

1) We make communication work by…

Working on it constantly. By nature, he is quiet. Like only speaks when spoken to – that type of quiet. And I love to have long philosophical discussions about…anything. So even after being together for so long, it still takes tremendous effort for us to communicate effectively. And that’s okay. We click on in so many other areas that we’ve accepted that this is our one flaw. LOL.

2) We make child rearing work by…

Parenting with the motto: “Love hard.” We love our kids tremendously and we make sure they know that. When parenting gets difficult, we respond by giving more love. When my son is throwing a tantrum? I hug the grumpiness out. When my daughter misbehaves? We sit down and ask her how she can make better choices in the future. Pure love. And we think it’s working.

3) We make our finances work by…

This is a tough one. Last year, I got laid off from my well paying job. Instantly, our family income was cut in half. I started freelancing and while I’m getting clients, the payment schedule makes bill paying kind of tricky. So we’re working through it month by month, looking at our budget and upcoming bills and doing the best we can to make this work. My husband knows how important it is for me to be a successful writer, and he’s willing to endure all the ups and downs that go along with that.

4) We make romance work by…

Not letting “we’re too busy/too tired/too broke” be an excuse to get in the way of date night. We try to have a date night at least every two weeks and we’ve learned to embrace those at-home date nights and how to make them special. I’ve been known to recreate a dish from our favorite restaurant – and it costs half the price!

5) What advice would you give to newlyweds (or even oldyweds!) on how to make marriage work?

Prayer. People used to tell me this and I would roll my eyes like, “You don’t have any better advice?” But I’ve learned that prayer (and a dose of patience) can get you through 99% of the issues that will pop up in your marriage. The key, which I think people forget, is that you are praying for yourself and how YOU can be better in the marriage. When people get in arguments with their spouse, they often think, “Man, if only he/she would just….we’d be okay.” But since you can’t change anyone, you can’t control anyone else, you need to focus on what YOU can bring to the marriage and I can guarantee you will see an improvement.

What wonderful advice! I hope you learned a little somethin’-somethin’ like I did! If you want to read some more feel-good-food-for-thought by Tara, visit her fantastic blog (my second blog home!), The Young Mommy Life. It’s awesome. Promise! You can also find her here, offering up some great tips on how to maintain a healthy and strong marriage.

Want to be featured? Send me a note via the contact form here on the blog or email me at theyeyodiaries(at)gmail(dot)com.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

How an Argument Brought Me Closer to my Husband

My husband and I had a huge fight recently. Huge. It was one of those cyclical arguments where the point got lost after the first ten minutes, and the other fifty minutes were rounds of jabs, stabs, and cuts (with words, of course). Needless to say, it was ugly!

There was no resolution to the argument that night. Sorry, folks. We typically follow the, “never go to bed angry” rule, but it was a no-go this time. Per the usual case whenever that happens, we woke up the same way we went to bed: upset and exhausted. Things were tense as we went about our daily activities…baby, work, school, dinner, etc. There was little to no communication between us. It was bad.

These extreme moments of strain are rare for us. When they happen, it takes EVERYTHING out of me. I can’t think straight, I’m in a terrible mood, and nothing seems to go right during my day. Life is hard and stressful. My husband often experiences the same thing. The longer the issue lingers, the thicker the tension grows. I hate it!

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How We Make This Work: The Grices

With the How We Make This Work series, I’m giving  married couples a chance to give insight into how they work out common issues we all face on the other side of “I Do.” The goal is to show that despite what marriage may look like in the mainstream, there are many couples that are willing to put the work in to maintain happy, healthy relationships with their spouses!

Let’s meet The Grices!

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