Time, Toothpaste, and Teamwork: Three Tips for a Successful Marriage

The other day I had a great conversation with a friend and colleague of mine. We always have a good time when we get the chance to sit and talk about love and life. Our conversation turned to marriage (as it always does) and unknowingly, she left me some great nuggets on marriage that were just too good to keep to myself!

Here are three things you can start doing today, to help strengthen your marriage:

Invest Time – as in a regularly scheduled date night. Ok, this is isn’t a new idea. But if having a regular date night was as easy as it sounds, every couple would do it. To ensure they get quality time in, every month my friend and her husband go out on the date of their wedding anniversary. Every. Single. Month.

I love that idea because:

1) it makes it easy to remember your anniversary (and hopefully the reasons why you married your spouse) and

2) it establishes a feasible frequency with quality time.

The monthly anniversary may not always be on a weekend, so they get the chance to switch things up, according to the amount of time they have. Coffee dates, going for a walk together, or out to dinner helps to keep things varied and fresh.

Our standing date night when we were dating was on Thursdays. But now with baby, school, and work keeping us busy, weekly is unrealistic for us. Once a month though? I think we can manage that (our wedding date is on the 18th).

Use Toothpaste.  A cute rule they have is, whoever wakes up or goes to bed first, puts the toothpaste on the other person’s tooth brush. This may seem trivial, but it’s actually quite thoughtful when you think about it. For them it means that twice a day, every day, you get a reminder that your spouse has thought of you. She said that she can count the number of times it hasn’t happened. I found that kind of consistency to be admirable and the gesture to be really thoughtful and sweet!

Participate in Teamwork. In everything they do, they do it as a team. Again, this is not a new idea, but it’s great to see it put into practice. This means from housework to combing the kids’ hair, no job belongs exclusively to one person. Marriage is the ultimate partnership and it’s important to work together, even in the little things. My husband and I share that sentiment and have built our marriage on that same principle. Creating an environment of shared responsibility has really helped to create balance in our marriage.

Of course, to each his own! What works for one marriage may not work for another. But I hope these tips and reminders will inspire you to make small changes toward improving the health of your marriage, just like it did for me! Sometimes it’s the smaller, simpler things in life that can truly make a difference.

Oh, and wanna know how long they’ve been married?

Over 30 years.

Marinate on that!



  • These are really great tips. I especially like the toothpaste rule because it’s so unique. Great post!

    May 29, 2012
    • Amber

      Indeed! It’s very uniquely their own and I think it’s such a nice gesture!

      May 29, 2012
  • Ajah

    Thanks for sharing Amber! I will definitely be talking to my honey about the anniversary idea. We too used to have date night on Thursday when we were dating, but with the baby, getting out has been hard. As for the toothpaste idea, I think I am going to surprise him tonight. I am sure he will be wondering what the heck I am doing…lol.

    May 29, 2012
    • Amber

      If you do it, you have to let me know what he says about the toothpaste!!!! And yes, date night is so important. My husband liked the idea, so I look forward to us having our monthly time set aside just for us!

      May 29, 2012
  • Thanks for sharing these tips! I like when my husband and I just sit and talk about life. Not the usual like bills, errands, work, etc. the stuff that reflects who we are and how life has brought us where we are today.
    (Hope that makes sense). lol

    May 30, 2012
    • Amber

      That makes total sense! It sounds like Quality Time is your primary love language! Doing simple things together can mean so much.

      June 4, 2012
  • I wish I was married again! :) I love the toothpaste tip. Yes, it shows thoughtfulness.
    Now, I realize where my marriage failed…

    June 1, 2012
    • Amber

      Hi Pepper, thank you for visiting and commenting! If you choose to marry again, hopefully you’ll have tips like these you can apply! All the best to you.

      June 4, 2012
  • [...] week, my buddy Amber from The Yeyo Diaries had a post about tips to keep marriages strong. One very unique tip involved toothpaste. I read [...]

    June 5, 2012
  • Okay, I’m single. But I have to admit: these tips are awesome! I love the fact that they have a scheduled date on the date of their anniversary. Life can get so hectic, but to have that date set aside makes so much sense.

    June 6, 2012

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