The Facebook Yearbook: Which Face Belongs to You?
Facebook is an interesting place where we (its users) put our lives on display for the enjoyment of others. How each person does that varies, but essentially that what’s happening.You can spin that thought how you want, but you know it’s true.
To me, Facebook is like a virtual high school. It’s a place where you round up thousands of different people from different backgrounds (rich, poor, jocks, nerds, and the like), throw them in a room and watch them find ways to seek out other people that will make them feel a little less “different.”
Remember your high school yearbook that had a list of superlatives in the back?
Here’s my version of the “Most Likely To…The Facebook Edition.”
Either you or somebody on your friend’s list is most likely to :
Be a DJ – These folks are avid music buffs that fill your newsfeed with whatever songs they’re feeling at the moment. That playlist usually comes courtesy of Youtube or Spotify.
Be a Minister or Motivational Speaker – No matter the time of day, they have a word (Biblical or otherwise) for you. Halelujah! You can do it!
Be a Photographer – What? You don’t want to see me in my bathroom photoshoot with the nasty white marks on my mirror? And we can’t forget the classic “front-seat-of-my-car-head-shot.” The photographer’s albums have literally hundreds of photos, full of various people, places, and things (and other nouns) for your viewing pleasure.
Be a Comedian – This person’s status updates about their day-to-day lives keep you in stitches all the time!
Be a Politician – Your own personal Rachel Maddow or Bill O’Riley. Your go-to Facebook friend for up to date commentary on why this country sucks or is the best place ever.
Be a Kill Joy – Never happy – just sad. Always sad. Hello, Eeyore!
Be a Narrator – Narrators are storytellers. Most of the updates start out with, “So….today I blah, blah, blah.” They’re masters at documenting conversations, too. “Me: What are you doing? Them: Nothing. Me: Why aren’t you doing anything? Them: Because. Me: O_0” Thanks for the riveting details!
Be Most Popular: No matter what they write, it’s guaranteed to get a million comments from their 12, 535 friends afterward. For example, “I picked my boogers just now.” Eew! Gross! Hahahaha! Funny! Was it green? Me too! You never comment on anything they post because you know your cell phone battery will die shortly after from all of the new comment notifications!
Be Least Popular – Always a post, never a comment. From anyone. It’s like they only talk to themselves or their Facebook friends don’t know who they are.
Be a Twitter User – Your newsfeed is flooded with post, after post, after post, after post, documenting every detail of their day. From sun up to sun down, nothing gets left out.
Be PERFECT – Every status update ends with some variation of: Life is good. Loving life. I’m perfect. You’re not.
I have to admit that I’ve been one
or three of these at one point or another! Hey, what can I say?! It’s all in fun, right?
Which face belongs to you?
Have any more to add?